Thank You For Letting Me Be Myself
by chessqueen
Summary: I was intrigued by the idea that Blaine thought he might be bisexual instead of gay after kissing Rachel and Kurt's reaction to it so much so that I wish Ryan Murphy and Company would have explored it more.  Here's my take on it.
1. Blaine Kissed a Girl and He Liked It

Title: Thank You for Letting Me Be Myself

Author: chessqueen

Disclaimer: Glee and its characters belong to Ryan Murphy and Fox. No copyright infringement intended; this story was written just for fun.

Author's Note: I was intrigued by the idea that Blaine thought he might be bisexual instead of gay and Kurt's reaction to it so much so that I wish Ryan Murphy and Company would have explored it more. Here's my take on it.

* * *

"Say what?" Mercedes Jones exclaimed as she plopped down on her bed. Kurt Hummel paced in front of her, a distressed look on his face. He'd called her half an hour ago in a panic saying that he absolutely had to see her.

"He thinks he might be bisexual now. It seems he kissed a girl and he liked it."

"But Rachel Berry, seriously?"

"Tell me about it. First Finn and now Blaine. I am so sick of this crap."

"I admit that Rachel can be hard to take sometimes … okay, most of the time. But you can't really blame her for the Finn thing. You never had a chance in hell with him seeing as he's straight."

"I know, I know," Kurt groaned as he ran his hand through his hair, "but still. Up until two nights ago, Blaine was unequivocally gay, now he may be bisexual. He's the only other person I know besides myself who's openly gay. I know his feelings for Rachel can't be real. There must be some part of him that's trying to hold on to some shred of heterosexuality. If he walked down the street holding her hand, no one would bat an eye, but if he held my hand, all hell would break loose."

"I know sweetie but …."

"But what?" Kurt said fiercely. Certainly Mercedes could see what an abomination a Rachel and Blaine coupling would be.

"What if he really does feel something for her? Aren't you the one who always said people can't help who they fall in love with?"

"Yeah but for god's sake up until a couple of days ago HE WAS GAY."

"I know Kurt but you said that he's never been in a relationship before. He kissed Rachel and he felt something. Granted that something should have been repulsion considering it's Rachel Berry we're talking about but still."

"You're supposed to be on my side. Besides, aren't you the one who's always saying mixed black people who insist upon being called biracial are just trying to get away from being called black so that white people will be more accepting of them? Well this is the same thing. If Blaine says he's bisexual instead of gay, society will be just a tiny bit more accepting of him."

"Kurt …," Mercedes began but he cut her off.

"I'm outta here," he said grabbing his jacket and bag. "First Blaine and now you, I can't count on anyone anymore." With that, he stormed out of Mercedes' room, down the hall stairs and out the Jones' front door.

As he made his way home, Kurt couldn't stop the floodgates of anger from washing over him. There were so many emotions swirling inside of him that he thought he'd have a breakdown right in the middle of Elm Street. Blaine had let him down big time. He'd been so unabashedly and unapologetically gay, but now this! It didn't help that he was crazy, madly, stupidly in love with him. And unlike Finn, he actually thought he had a chance with Blaine considering they were both gay and all. Kurt sighed as he looked up at the darkening sky, drawing his coat closer to him as he continued down the street. Granted he hadn't been the one Blaine had sung to on Valentine's Day, but after that frizzy-haired Gap troll doll had turned him down, Kurt had thought they had a new understanding, one that could possibly lead to them getting together. And Mercedes, she was his best friend, wasn't she supposed to agree with him like 99.99% of the time? Wasn't she supposed to curse Rachel's name and commiserate with him over the injustice of it all?

At least now that Rachel and Finn had broken up, he wouldn't have to hear her name in the Hummel/Hudson home. Thank god for small favors, Kurt thought as he made his way up the front walk to the door. Thank god indeed.

He stepped inside the entryway with the intention of being quiet so that he could sneak off to his room without being seen or heard but he was so pissed that he slammed the door shut HARD.

"Kurt?" Burt Hummel called from the kitchen. A few seconds later he appeared in the hallway. "How was everything at school to…," he stopped when he saw the enraged look on Kurt's face. "What happened?'

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Kurt."

"Dad, I really don't want to talk about it."

"Do I need to go up to that school?"

"School's fine. It's Blaine," Kurt said with a sigh. He knew he could talk to his dad, and that even though his father didn't understand what it was like to be gay, he would always have his back.

"Did you two have a fight?"

"You could say that. It appears that Blaine might be in love with Rachel Berry."

"Finn's Rachel?" Burt asked confusedly as he scratched the side of his head. "But I thought Blaine was gay."

"So did I and so did he two days ago."

"I don't quite understand."

"You don't quite understand what?" Finn Hudson asked suddenly appearing in the hallway.

"Ummm," Burt Hummel began but not knowing what to say or if he should say anything, he stopped.

"It appears that Blaine is in love with Rachel," Kurt spat out.

"Rachel?" Finn said, the same confused look that had crossed Burt Hummel's face now appearing on his. "But I thought he was gay."

"Join the club," Burt replied under his breath.

"He thinks he's bisexual now because he kissed Rachel and apparently he kinda liked it. I'd rather not talk about it," Kurt said as he opened the door leading to the basement.

"You'd rather not talk about what?" Carole Hudson-Hummel asked as she walked through the front door.

"You don't want to know," Burt and Finn said in unison as Burt helped Carole out of her coat and Kurt stole down to his basement sanctuary.

* * *

Mercedes swore she could hear Barbra Streisand blasting from Rachel's house at least two blocks away. She took a deep breath then rang the doorbell. Do not strangle her; do not strangle her, Mercedes said to herself as she waited for someone to answer the door. A few minutes later Rachel appeared dressed in a yellow sweater over a white blouse, a black and red plaid skirt, white knit knee socks and brown loafers. Do not strangle her, you are much too fabulous to go to jail, Mercedes thought.

"Hello Mercedes. What an unexpected surprise," Rachel said in a cheery voice.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Mercedes asked as she pushed past Rachel into the house.

"I'm sorry, I don't follow," Rachel said feigning innocence.

"Don't play stupid with me. How could you ask Blaine out? You know how Kurt feels about him."

"Why don't we sit down and discuss this? Coffee? Herbal tea? Diet Coke?" Rachel asked as she headed toward the kitchen.

"This isn't a social call. It's taking everything in me not to beat your ass right now. How could you do this to Kurt?"

"I'm not doing anything to Kurt. I think Blaine and I could be really good together."

"Please, who do you think you're fooling? If Finn offered to take you back today, you'd drop Blaine in a second. That's not fair to him or Kurt, Kurt who is supposed to be your friend by the way. A friend doesn't date another friend's man."

"First off, Blaine is not Kurt's man and secondly, you don't know anything about this. Don't think I don't know that you and Kurt laugh at me behind my back. I'm sure friends aren't supposed to do that either. I think you should leave now," Rachel said with a bravado she didn't feel because she knew that if Mercedes really wanted to, she could "beat her ass."

"This isn't over," Mercedes said rolling her eyes and swiveling her neck. "Not by a long shot." With that Mercedes opened the door, shutting it behind her. Immediately Rachel locked it, then leaned against it.

She would not be intimidated by Mercedes or anyone else for that matter, not anymore. She had a right to go out with Blaine. She was tired of everyone trying to hold her back, trying to stop her from going after what she wanted. She was the best singer in Glee Club but she had to constantly fight to be heard. She was fashion forward but everyone made fun of how she dressed. She was smart, she was talented, and she was going to be a star just like her idol Barbra Streisand. They'd told Streisand she would never make it, not with her unconventional looks, but she'd proved her critics wrong and so will I, Rachel thought.

Still … if Finn became jealous after seeing that she'd moved on, there was nothing she could do about it. And should he beg her to come back, she would be gracious when turning him down. The important thing was that he'd finally see what a huge mistake he'd made in letting her go.

* * *

He'd tried to call Kurt but apparently Kurt wasn't talking to him. He must have told his father what was going on because Mr. Hummel had been cold towards him when he'd answered the phone. Blaine supposed that Kurt had a right to be angry? He'd been preaching gay pride and now here he was questioning his own sexuality. He liked guys he knew that but he'd felt something when he'd kissed Rachel - desire, arousal. He hadn't kissed a girl since he was five years old so for all he knew, he could be bisexual and just never had a chance to discover it until now. Rachel was attractive and they both loved singing and musicals. There was no denying that they'd clicked during their duet together at her party. But what if Kurt was right and it was just the alcohol? But didn't he have the right to explore whether it was or not? If Kurt was really his friend, wouldn't he support him on his quest to discover who he truly was?

The truth was he couldn't be Kurt's gay messiah. He was still trying to figure things out himself. Yeah he sounded so sure of himself but truthfully he wasn't. He'd never had a boyfriend before; never been in a relationship. And after that disaster with that guy from the Gap, he wasn't so sure he knew how to read people or situations anymore, if he ever did. Sometimes, he got the feeling that Kurt wanted to be more than friends but at other times he wasn't so sure. Besides, there was an innocence and a romanticism to Kurt that he didn't want to destroy. He knew he could never live up to Kurt's fantasy of the perfect boyfriend. He knew no one ever could; he also knew he didn't want to be the one to destroy that fantasy.


	2. Heartbreaker

Author's Note: This chapter was inspired by the Mariah Carey video for her song entitle what else "Heartbreaker."

* * *

Although he was supposed to be studying for a math test, Kurt was in fact waiting for Blaine. He'd managed to successfully avoid talking to him for the past two days. He'd rushed through the halls in the breaks between classes; in the downtime during Warbler practice, he'd managed to glom onto one of the other guys so that whenever Blaine looked his way he was seen talking to someone else. Thankfully things were now on an upswing. Not only had he made up with Mercedes, but he'd come up with a plan that was sure to make Blaine see reason. He'd pretend to support this Rachel nonsense; he'd be the loving friend, the confidant, and he'd use that closeness to thwart any chance of those two getting together.

As he sat in the Dalton library, sunlight trickling through the room's stained glass windows, his eyes darted to the door every time it opened. This seemed to go on forever until at last Blaine walked in. At first he didn't see Kurt but finally their eyes locked. And although he looked like he wanted to come over, he stopped. Knowing that he'd been distant the past couple days, Kurt smiled and waved him over. Relaxing, Blaine made his way across the room.

"Kurt," he said stopping at the table. "May I sit down?"

"Sure," Kurt said giving him a weak smile. "I've been meaning to talk to you. I wanted to apologize."

"Really? After the lecture you gave me and the fact that you've been avoiding me, I thought you'd never speak to me again."

Kurt took a deep breath then began. "I was out of line. I'm supposed to be your friend but I didn't act like it; I was selfish. You're the only other openly gay person I know and I look up to you. But when you needed me, I wasn't there for you and I'm sorry."

He paused waiting for Blaine to say something, anything.

"Thanks Kurt. That means a lot to me. I never meant to disappoint anyone. That kiss with Rachel threw me. I'm gay for god's sake. At least I thought I was."

"If you want to find out what your feelings for Rachel are, you should go out with her. In fact, why don't you take her to the Rialto Saturday night? They're showing Funny Girl and I know Rachel loves, loves, loves Barbra Streisand."

"Funny Girl, huh," Blaine said pondering the idea. "I like it."

"Great," Kurt said as he swallowed the bile rising in his throat.

* * *

"I can't believe I'm doing this," Mercedes said as she and Kurt hid behind a pillar in the Rialto's lobby. "This is seriously a new low."

"C'mon, this is kinda fun. It's like we're on a stakeout."

She rolled her eyes at him in reply. "So we're going to hide in this theater all night spying on Blaine and Rachel."

"Basically yes. Do you see them yet?" Kurt said as he poked his head out from behind the pillar.

"No," Mercedes said as she tossed popcorn into her mouth. "What do you hope to gain by doing this? What if Blaine and Rachel end up really liking each other, are you going to be able to handle it?"

"Probably not, but whatever happens I have to know."

"Here they come," Mercedes said suddenly.

"Hide! We can't let them see us," Kurt said as he grabbed her arm and pulled her behind a huge cardboard display for Star Wars.

After waiting a few minutes for the coast to clear, they followed Rachel and Blaine into the auditorium. Built in 1929, the Rialto was a throwback to the theaters of yesteryear. Its domed ceiling was painted an inky blue and covered with gold stars, the balcony skyboxes were also painted gold while the carpeting and seats were a rich velvety red. Mercedes pointed to Rachel and Blaine who were seated in the middle of the near empty theater. Quietly Mercedes and Kurt found seats a few rows behind them. Though scrunched down in his seat, Kurt could still see Rachel and Blaine talking. Even from a distance, he could see Blaine being his usual charming self and Rachel smiling brightly at him.

Damn, damn, damn, Kurt thought, this date seems to be going too well. He'd been hoping that once alone and sober Blaine and Rachel would have nothing to say to each other.

Suddenly the houselights went down but instead of watching the movie, Kurt's eyes were trained on the couple a few rows in front of him. At first they sat a normal distance apart then Rachel began moving closer to Blaine. Panicked, Kurt grabbed the tub of popcorn Mercedes was snacking on.

"Hey," she exclaimed loudly.

"Shhhh," Kurt said.

"Sorry. What the hell Kurt?"

Blaine and Rachel looked around at the noise but quickly turned back to the screen. A few minutes later, Rachel leaned in, laying her head on Blaine's shoulder.

Incensed, Kurt grabbed a handful of popcorn and threw it her.

Immediately her head popped up and she looked around as Kurt scooted down further in his seat and told Mercedes to do the same.

"Good Lord," Mercedes said under her breath.

After about a minute or so, Rachel and Blaine settled back into watching the movie. It wasn't long though before Kurt saw Blaine whispering something in Rachel's ear. She turned to him and laughed. Then as if in slow motion, their heads began to move closer and closer together. Kurt's heart stopped as he watched in horror as their lips touched. Without thinking, he grabbed Mercedes' drink, ripped off the top and flung it at Rachel and Blaine.

"What the hell," Blaine said jumping up drenched.

"Fuck," Mercedes said softly but loud enough for Kurt to hear.

"It's okay; I don't think they saw me," he said sliding lower in his seat.

"I don't fucking believe this."

From where he was sitting, Kurt could see that Rachel had stood up too, a dark stain on her white sweater.

"Sit down," a guy on the other side of the theater yelled. "I'm trying to watch Barbra."

Exasperated, Blaine sat down followed by Rachel whose eyes kept darting over the rows of people. Once they'd settled down, Kurt whispered to Mercedes, "Let's go."

Crawling on the floor, they quickly made their way up the aisle to the lighted lobby.

Once in the lobby, Mercedes turned on Kurt. "What the hell is wrong with you?" she said her hands on her hips. "Have you lost your damn mind?"

"I know I shouldn't have done that. It was childish and immature but I couldn't just sit there and watch him kiss her."

"I told you spying on them was a bad idea."

"I know but I couldn't help it. Breadsticks?" Kurt asked as way of an apology.

"C'mon," Mercedes said turning and heading for the door.

* * *

"How was your date?" Kurt asked as he and Blaine sat in the Dalton student lounge drinking iced coffees. They had lucked out and were able to score the comfy stuffed chairs in the corner near the fireplace. "When I didn't hear from you this weekend, I didn't know what to think."

"It started out okay I guess. I picked Rachel up at her house. We talked, okay mainly she talked. Anyway, we get to the Rialto and some asshole ends up throwing popcorn and a drink at us during the movie."

"Say what? Are you serious? What would possess someone to do something like that? Did you see who it was?" Kurt asked trying to sound casual though he was sure that Blaine could hear his tell tale heart beating in his chest.

"No."

"Too bad. Seriously, what's up with people? I'm sorry your date was ruined." It had taken all his strength not to pick up the phone to ask how awful Blaine's date had been. Face to face was definitely better. He'd played the scene out in his mind. He'd tell Blaine how sorry he was that the date had been a disaster, then he'd give him some bullshit about how it was probably for the best. Blah, blah, blah. Yada, yada, yada. Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. His performance would be Tony worthy, no Oscar worth, hell both. He'd be Lima, Ohio's own Rita Moreno.

"That's the thing," Blaine said looking intently at Kurt. "Because of that asshole, I ended up having one of the best nights of my life."

"What," Kurt said choking on his coffee. "But you just said …," he trailed off.

"To be honest, I wasn't really feeling Rachel on the ride to the theater. But after leaving the Rialto, we went back to her house and had a really nice time. While my clothes were in the washer and dryer, we ended up listening to music and talking the rest of the night. I never would have guessed it, but we have a lot in common."

"Wow," Kurt said stunned. He didn't know what else to say. Because of his stunt at the theater, it seemed that Rachel and Blaine were now closer than ever.

Damn.


End file.
